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Ignore the haters

Ignore the haters

Someone once described haters as “people who whisper your success, but broadcast your failure”. They are always there no matter how you try to shake them off. Don’t even attempt to please them, because the more you do, the more they would keep hating on you.

Those who aren’t successful in life, don’t have issues with haters, because they are already down. The focus is always on those who aspire to achieve their dreams and goals in life. The more successful you are in life, the more the hate.

Eight years ago, when I bought my first call, not all my friends were happy with me. Some secretly envied me and with envy came hatred. It got worse when I started making real progress in my career.

How I dealt with haters

I focused on those who are happy to have me around and ignored the haters. This has worked quite well for me, because the more I ignore them, the quicker they disappeared. They realized that I wasn’t ready to take their hate seriously, and so they gave up hating on me.

Don’t get distracted

It is easier to get distracted when people say hurtful words about us. A young lady who was in an abusive relationship and had grown to hate herself shared her experience. “Each day was like hell on earth. I tried all I could to please him, but the more I did, the more he hated me. I felt I was not good enough. At a point, I had to break up with him, when the abuse was affecting me emotionally.

Those were the most difficult periods of my life. I became overweight, as I wasn’t watching my diet anymore. When I left Dave, I did all I could to gain back my confidence. It was a real struggle because I had almost lost everything. My self-worth was all gone. I had zero self-confidence and I was standing at the very edge of a mental breakdown.

Relocating to a new city and finding a new job gave me a fresh lease of life. It was like a heavy burden had been lifted off my fragile shoulder. For once I was getting my groove back and I loved it. The bad energy was all gone and I was able to make new friends.

Two years after, I fell in love with someone whom I refer to as my sunshine. He erased all the hate toxins that David had deposited in me. I realized that life always gives us a second chance to become who we truly want to become in life. Love triumphed over hate and I was the happiest soul that ever lived”

Never pay evil with evil

There is always the temptation to hate those who hate you. Unfortunately, that may not be the right approach. Like Martin Luther, King Jnr said: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that

We must always find a way to forgive those who hate without reason. Love them and always find a place in your heart to forgive them. Hopefully, they would see a reason to stop hating and start loving.

Get Inspired by hate

Some call them haters, but I would prefer to call them motivators. Let the actions of the few that hate you push you to greater heights. Keep using the stone of hate thrown at you, to build a platform that will inspire you towards your goals in life.

On the 14th of October 2019, Bulgaria hosted England in a Euro 2020 Qualifier. The match was almost marred with monkey chants each time England winger Raheem Sterling was on the ball. Raheem refused to allow racial abuse to weigh him down. It rather motivated him to put in his best performance in the color of England. He went ahead to score a brace, as England thumped Bulgaria 6-0.

Akinfenwa inspire Wycombe Wanderers to the Championship

Akinfenwa inspire Wycombe Wanderers to the Championship

Waiting for people to inspire you to chase your dreams is a waste of time. You got to inspire yourself to pursue your goals. There are moments in life, where it seems all hope is lost. When nothing seems to be working. Those are moments one needs to look inward and never give in to discouragement.

Four years ago (2016), people said he was finished. But he refused to give up on himself. The player who is ranked amongst the biggest in English football at 102 Kg has got a story to share. His name is Saheed Adebayo Akinfenwaand he is a professional footballer presently plying his trade with newly-promoted Wycombe Wanderers.
In 2016, the 38 years old striker jokingly said he was technically unemployed after been released by AFC Wimbledon. The widely traveled footballer who has played for 15 clubs, is known for his physical strength and heavily built frame.

Akinfenwa the Journeyman

Akinfenwa started his football journey in Lithuania with FK Atlantas but was unable to settle down due to racial abuse. He quickly returned to the UK after just two seasons with the Lithuanian club and joined Welsh top side, Barry Town.

His football journey has seen him then move from Boston United, Leyton Orient, Rushden & Diamonds, Doncaster Rovers, Torquay United, Swansea City, Millwall, Northampton Town, Gillingham, and AFC Wimbledon.

Against all odds

Looking at him with his massive frame, one might be tempted to believe he won’t make a success of his football career. Unfortunately, he has defied all odds and has had an illustrious career spanning more than 20 years. He has so far made a total of 717 appearances, scoring 26 goals and winning numerous trophies and personal awards. He has had to battle against racism, abuse, and all sorts of challenges. In their Play-off match against Fleetwood, he was called “Fat Water Buffalo”, but they went ahead to win against all odds.

From technically unemployed to the Championship.

In 2016, Akinfenwa spoke with reporters in a live interview that he was technically unemployed, as his contract was up at AFC Wimbledon.

Fast forward to 2019, and the London born footballer of Nigerian descent inspired Wycombe wanderers to a place in the Championship after defeating Oxford United 2-1 in the playoffs.

If there is anything that has kept him going, it is the belief in his abilities. He has seen the beautiful side of the game he loves so much. He has also experienced the bitter side of the football. Life and football are all about opinion. “Four years ago someone gave an opinion about me and that’s their opinion. My story shows the only opinion that matters is the opinion you have about yourself. I was lucky and blessed to find a manager and players who believed in me and so we are here today”.
At 38, he still has a lofty dream of helping Wycombe wanderers in their Championship quest in the coming season. Nothing is impossible when it comes to football. Akinfenwa can even inspire Wycombe Wanderers to book a place in the Premiership!

Never take rejection and failure as a setback

Never take rejection and failure as a setback

Rejection can come in different forms and shapes. When it comes, never get discouraged or give up on the pursuit of your goals or dreams. The fact that you are rejected does not imply you are not good enough. It only means you should improve on yourself and give it one more try. It doesn’t matter how many times you are rejected. What matters is to stay focused and never stop pushing.

Joanne Rowling

JK Rowling, the author of the popular Harry Potter novel, once faced rejection. She submitted the manuscript to the popular Harry Potter novel but was rejected by several publishers. This did not deter her, but rather motivated her. Her persistence eventually paid off, as she got the popular novel published. Today, her estimated net worth is rumored to be around £750 Million, as in 2019. This wouldn’t have been possible if she had forgotten about her dream and allowed rejection to slow her down.

The Beatles

The Beatles are regarded as one of the most popular bands in the world. They were so famous that their songs remain one of the most recorded in history. They too faced rejection from several music labels. Their songs were labeled as not good enough, and it was Brian Epstein who courageously gave them their first musical break by signing the band.

Thomas Edison

He was one of the greatest inventors that ever live. Unfortunately, he faced rejection from his teacher. Thomas Edison’s teacher told him that he was “too stupid to learn anything”. It was a rather negative remark to say to someone at that young age. Thomas also got fired from his place of work, because he was termed to be “non-productive”. As an inventor, he tried inventing the electric bulb, but he failed multiple times. He never gave up but kept trying until he succeeded. That is the amazing power of rejection.

In 2011, a guy applied for a job with Uber and after three interviews they were impressed but didn’t hire him because he didn’t have a car. He then started his own media outfit. Six years later that same company that rejected him, contracted him to train their staff. In life, never take failure as a reflection of your potential.

Sometimes what we think are setbacks are stepping stones. Determination is fueled by a belief in oneself and the belief of self. Never allow negative feedback you got today, stop you from receiving that positive feedback tomorrow. 

The bitter truth we must all accept is that people will reject us along the journey of life. That job application may get rejected. When it happens, we shouldn’t ask too many questions, but rise and keep moving. It should inspire us to put in more effort until we reach our goals in life.

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