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relationship

Every Relationship have their ups and downs

How would you rate your relationship on a scale-out of 10?

Is there any room for improvement?

If your relationship is like most, then yea, there is room for improvement.

Even if you have experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or struggling to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can learn to stay connected, find fulfillment and enjoy lasting happiness. All romantic relationships go through ups and downs. They all require some level of commitment, respect, trust, loyalty, trust,  honesty, patience,  and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner to make it work.

At some point in our lives, we may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in movies,  television, and novels. Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all your needs. Expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on your relationship. If you are expecting to get what you want 100% in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on sacrifice. It takes a lot of work on each person’s part to have a healthy affair.

A great number of relationships often fall apart because of a lack of direct communication. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well but as long as you are communicating you can work through whatever problems you are facing. Your partner is not a mind reader. It is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid confusion. Your partner may sense something’s but it might not be what you need. What you needed and wanted some years ago for instance may be very different now. So, instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, bitterness, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, develop the habit of telling them exactly what you need.

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. Don’t start arguments over things that cannot be changed. Rather than looking to past conflicts or grudges and assigning blame, focus on what you can do to solve the problem. If you can’t agree, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on. Always remember that you are arguing with the person you love.

You will not always be on the same page. Change is inevitable in life and it will happen in your relationship whether you go with it or not. Making a positive change does not need to be a complicated process. It just needs to be a consistent process where you progressively develop new habits of mind through repeated exposure and implementation.

Learn to always adapt to the positive change that is always taking place in your love affair. It will allow you to grow together through both the good times and bad. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow…

loneliness

Loneliness kills faster than poverty

Loneliness is a state of been alone and feeling dejected and abandoned. It is a feeling of needing a company when you feel insecure or emotionally troubled. Funny enough, you can be in the midst of friends, family, and colleagues, but yet feel lonely and lost.

The renowned Catholic nun, Mother Teresa shared her thoughts about loneliness: “The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” The truth about feeling lonely and dejected is the fact that we are currently living in very peculiar times. People aren’t bothered anymore about the pains and the challenges their next-door neighbor may be going through.

Modern civilization has created a huge gap in the way people relate to each other. The social media craze has worsened the already bad situation, as the desire to please and be accepted by the society has made lots of people to lose their identity.

People now choose to create a false lifestyle in a bid to be accepted by those they feel are doing better than them. When expectations aren’t met, loneliness and depression inadvertently set in. Loneliness is a silent killer because its effect is not readily visible. It eats so deep and quiet until the individual eventually gives up in life.

One of the most obvious signs of our broken world is the feeling of isolation among individuals. We can be in a sports stadium with 100,000 other people, feeling a sense of solidarity because we are rooting for the home team, but when we get in the car to go home, loneliness hits us. Our internet culture does not allow for the human interaction needed to break through our lonesomeness.

The figures for those going through different stages of depression worldwide have skyrocketed in the last decade, even as the suicide rate has been on the increase. The WHO estimates that more than 300 million people of all ages suffer from depression worldwide.

Overall, more women suffer from depression than men. The sad reality is the harsh economic situation globally, which has not helped ease the burden on individuals who have been forced to find a means to stay strong even in the face of insurmountable challenges.

What kills people the most, is not the state of being lonely, it is the realization that nobody cares. You feel useless and lifeless. That is the pure definition of loneliness. Loneliness corners you at night and starts eating away at every fabric of happiness in your being. What’s left is a void, that too deep to be filled. It leaves in its wake depression and pain, which eventually leads to death.

To buttress how serious the issue of loneliness is, the United Kingdom in 2018, appointed a Minister of Loneliness. Tracey Crouch has been given the mandate to help stem the tide of loneliness that is prevalent in the UK.

The 42 years old has experience loneliness and would be using her wealth of experience to great effect in the fight to help individuals become better and more productive in life and career. Indeed, poverty truly kills, but loneliness has been known to kill even more!

Success means different things to different folks

Success is possible to those that believe

Success is one of the often searched words on the internet. A quick search on google and a search for the word “success” will bring up 245,000 search items. The reason why people search for success online is that they desire success. Unfortunately, desire alone is not enough guarantee for you to become successful in life.

Success takes time

Everything in life happens according to our time. Every individual has a specific time for certain things to be accomplished in life. You may look at your friends for example, and keep wondering about the rapid progress they have made in life.

The truth is that everything happens at their own pace. They have their own time and clock and you have yours, so be patient if you desire to become successful in life.

Don’t envy others making progress in life

Jack Ma started Alibaba at age 39. At that age, some of his friends were still struggling to make meaning out of life. Virgin Group was started by Richard Branson when he was 34. That would be considered, a major achievement.

These men achieved success, not because they were looking at their friends and colleagues, but because they intentionally desired success and worked hard towards achieving their goals in life. It all boils down to doing what gives you joy and happiness.

Be happy with little success

Celebrating the little achievements and never getting discouraged is the beginning. Everyone who becomes successful in life started from the very bottom. They never achieved their great accomplishments overnight.

When we are happy with the little success we achieve in life, it opens door to better opportunities. Clinching the bronze medal in the Olympics was a huge achievement for Weightlifter Christine Girard of Canada at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.

Six years later, Christine became a Gold medalist when Maiya Maneza of Kazakhstan and Svetlana Tsarukaeva of Russia who won Gold and Silver were disqualified for taking banned substances. It may have taken years, but hard work surely pays a huge dividend.

Be consistent and success will show up

Consistency is always synonymous with those who achieve great things in life. No matter how slow the progress may seem, keep moving, and never stop trying. What you consistently pursue and desire will eventually become a reality.

It takes a strong commitment to not only your passion but also your personal life and family life to truly become successful.

Fighting gracefully against all odds

Fighting gracefully against all odds

One of my favorite quotes comes from an ancient philosopher. He had a clear knowledge of what it looks like going through life challenges. Hear what he had to say: “Be Kind. For everyone you meet is Fighting a Battle you know nothing about”

This amazing quote had changed my perspective about life and how I look at others going through one challenge or the other. You can never tell because of some smile through the pains. You can only see the beautiful face, but deep within is a raging battle.

For the beautiful Lilac, her battle started when she was just 34 weeks old. She had to be placed on life support after she contracted Sepsis and her organs started shutting down. It was a battle for survival, but the charming Lilac was up for the Fight.

Not long after, she was discharged from hospital and everyone thought she had won the battle, but how wrong we can be at times. It was never to be, as Lilac was diagnosed with Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy at eight months old.

It would have been too much a battle for some, but not the brave Lilac. She came out fighting courageously. Her story is an inspiration to be shared across the world. The story of courage, strength, tenacity, joy, and happiness.

She walked against all odds

The initial prognosis was that Lilac could not walk. It was a devastating blow to the parents, but one beautiful thing I have come to learn about life is the fact that when we are determined to chase after our dreams, nothing can stop us.

Lilac was fighting with all of her might to walk. Her beautiful spirit was too strong to be held back. Daily physiotherapy sessions were done, to strengthen her pretty legs. Each new day brought positive results as she learned how to walk by herself

Charming smiles always

Lilac was never weighed down by her troubles. Watching her kid brother running around and she looking helplessly without being able to join, maybe a bit tough for 3 years old. But she had a beautiful dream. A dream that kept a beautiful smile on her face.

Her desire to keep fighting until she can walk independently has always kept her going. There is presently a fundraising page at Just Giving to help her achieve her dream. Her beautiful spirit has always been kept strong by the support of family and friends.

She presently has access to a hot tub which soothes her tired legs after a long walk, but she keeps smiling always. Making use of walkers and other walking aids to build her leg stamina is currently in progress.

The future is bright

When we never stop fighting, there is always the possibility of getting to our destination in life. For the beautiful Lilac, her tremendous progress over the last couple of months has been amazing. The future is bright, as there is a huge possibility she would walk unaided very soon. She was born a warrior and warriors always fight till the very end.

pain

Let go of the pain

We all have been hurt by someone at some time or another in our lives. We have been betrayed, treated badly, trust has been broken and hearts have experienced tremendous pain. Most times, we allow the pain to linger for too long that we relive the pain over and over again, having a hard time letting it go.

One basic thing that connects us as humans is our ability to feel pain be it emotional or physical. What differentiates us is how we handle the pain we are going through in life.

What exactly are you holding on to?

Is it a failed relationship? A slight from a friend or family member that you just cannot get over it? Have you been betrayed by a loved one or a trusted friend? Or do you need to forgive someone either in person or just in your heart so that you can let go of anger, hatred, bitterness, and step into a more peaceful state?

What you do with that pain is probably more important than the pain itself. Would you prefer to get back from being an emotionally active individual? Or do you prefer to ponder continuously about the past and something that cannot be changed?

How do I let go of past hurts and move on?

This is a question many of us ask ourselves whenever we experience heartache or emotional trauma/ pain. Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to commit to LET IT GO. If you don’t make this conscious decision, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from past hurt.

You need to realize that you have the choice to let it go. Stop reliving past pain. Stop going over the details of the stories in your head every time you think about it. Stop playing the victim and blaming others.

Being the victim feels good. It is like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The society largely doesn’t care,  so you need to get over yourself because you are special and your feelings matter.

Although,  your feelings matter it shouldn’t override you and make you feel nothing else matters. Your feelings are just one part of this large thing call life which is all interwoven and complex.

Forgive

Learn to practice forgiveness whenever you are hurt. Forgiveness isn’t a sign of weakness; forgiveness isn’t saying “I agree with what you did” rather, it is I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway. Do it for your happiness, well being, and for the time you have left in your life.

There is nothing worse than holding onto resentment about someone or something for years while they happily move on with life. The reality is, doing this only hurts you. The most important thing is that we also have to learn to forgive ourselves. If you can’t forgive yourself, you won’t be able to live in future peace and happiness.

Never allow the person that hurts you in the past, control your happiness. You need to take responsibility for your happiness.  Never you put such power into the hands of someone else. No amount of rumination of analyses has ever fixed any problem. Never! Not in the entirety of the world’s history. So why choose to engage in so much thought and devote so much energy to someone who has wronged you?

Let go of your pain and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where you are the protagonist: you are forever the victim of the other person’s horrible actions. You cannot undo the past all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

Every day you choose to hold on to the pain of yesterday is another day wasted. Enjoy the awesome moment’s life brings across your path

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