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Tag: communication

relationship

Every Relationship have their ups and downs

How would you rate your relationship on a scale-out of 10?

Is there any room for improvement?

If your relationship is like most, then yea, there is room for improvement.

Even if you have experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or struggling to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can learn to stay connected, find fulfillment and enjoy lasting happiness. All romantic relationships go through ups and downs. They all require some level of commitment, respect, trust, loyalty, trust,  honesty, patience,  and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner to make it work.

At some point in our lives, we may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in movies,  television, and novels. Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all your needs. Expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on your relationship. If you are expecting to get what you want 100% in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on sacrifice. It takes a lot of work on each person’s part to have a healthy affair.

A great number of relationships often fall apart because of a lack of direct communication. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well but as long as you are communicating you can work through whatever problems you are facing. Your partner is not a mind reader. It is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid confusion. Your partner may sense something’s but it might not be what you need. What you needed and wanted some years ago for instance may be very different now. So, instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, bitterness, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, develop the habit of telling them exactly what you need.

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. Don’t start arguments over things that cannot be changed. Rather than looking to past conflicts or grudges and assigning blame, focus on what you can do to solve the problem. If you can’t agree, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on. Always remember that you are arguing with the person you love.

You will not always be on the same page. Change is inevitable in life and it will happen in your relationship whether you go with it or not. Making a positive change does not need to be a complicated process. It just needs to be a consistent process where you progressively develop new habits of mind through repeated exposure and implementation.

Learn to always adapt to the positive change that is always taking place in your love affair. It will allow you to grow together through both the good times and bad. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow…

Seven Things to Consider when Choosing a Life Partner

Seven Things to Consider when Choosing a Life Partner

The choice of a life partner is the most critical choice of your life. Oftentimes, we conjure pictures in our mind on our would-be life partners would be or look like. Some would go-ahead to make a list of mandatory specifics such as he/she must be handsome, beautiful, tall, short, slim, chubby, fat, must be rich, educated, and presentable e.t.c. It is good to have these kinds of ideas but you need to stop and ask yourself what is truly important to consider before saying I do? There are so many things to consider and be aware of before you embark on the journey of marriage. Some of the basic factors to consider are: 

Faith

This plays a major role in marriage. If you practice a particular faith, how important is it that your partner share the same faith and practice it with you? How does faith affect your lifestyle? What faith do you want to raise your children in? In choosing a spouse, you are mindful of going for someone of different beliefs from yours. Being nice and morally upright isn’t the criteria to justify this point but being of the same faith with your future spouse will save you from so many dramas and trouble in your home.

Companionship

One of the main reasons for marriage is companionship and friendship. Don’t marry a stranger and hope you will become compatible overnight. Don’t try to make your spouse your friend but out of your friends choose a partner. When you meet someone on the level of friendship before you get married, it is difficult to fake the relationship. After the romance and sex are gone, it is the friendship that will keep the relationship going. 

Communication

It is the foundation of a happy, healthy, and long-lasting marriage. It is about truly understanding each other. Once there is a dichotomy in your speaking and understanding level, you can’t enjoy that marriage. Can you truly talk to her and can she truly talk to you? Don’t marry someone who is rigid and not open to new ideas, new ways of doing things, or innovations. Communication is so important because several occasions will arise in a marriage where you and your partner would need to sit, discuss, and figure things out.

 Character

What is his / her behavior like? Is there self-control? Is he/she consistently angry or violent? Is he or she abusive: physically, verbally, or emotionally? Does he/ she snap at you, belittle you or always put you down?  It is good to marry someone you love, but looks aren’t enough. Life is full of beautiful women and handsome/ rich men but not all that glitters is gold.

Sex

Marry someone you have sexual feelings for. Sex plays a vital role in the success of any marriage. If you don’t have emotional feelings for your future spouse, it is a recipe for misunderstanding and broken relationships. You both should understand this fundamental aspect of marriage and adapt as soon as possible. Sex and romance are a non-negotiable part of marriage! You will flirt with each other and you will make babies. So, marry someone you can connect with sexually.  it will create more intimacy between you and your partner.

Compatibility

This is the ability of both of you to get along. Having certain strengths/ things that complement each other. Make sure you check basic issues such as:

(a) Values: Do both of you share the same perspective about life? 

(b) The purpose of life: Where you are going to determine who will go with you. You must, first of all, discover your purpose for life before choosing a partner for life. Make sure you marry someone that can accommodate your vision and appreciate what you are called to do in life.

Hence, it is important to know how compatible you are with your partner. There must be a certain level of compatibility. If the gulf between you both is too wide, it may create challenges in the future

When choosing a spouse please be very careful of undue influences. Make sure you are choosing someone that has the real qualities that can sustain a home. Let your choices be based on true love and friendship. Marriage is a commitment the both of you must want to go along with willingly. If the man/ woman doesn’t appreciate you enough to marry you please let them go. Someone that will appreciate you will come.

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