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Tag: bitterness

relationship

Every Relationship have their ups and downs

How would you rate your relationship on a scale-out of 10?

Is there any room for improvement?

If your relationship is like most, then yea, there is room for improvement.

Even if you have experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or struggling to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can learn to stay connected, find fulfillment and enjoy lasting happiness. All romantic relationships go through ups and downs. They all require some level of commitment, respect, trust, loyalty, trust,  honesty, patience,  and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner to make it work.

At some point in our lives, we may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in movies,  television, and novels. Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all your needs. Expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on your relationship. If you are expecting to get what you want 100% in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on sacrifice. It takes a lot of work on each person’s part to have a healthy affair.

A great number of relationships often fall apart because of a lack of direct communication. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well but as long as you are communicating you can work through whatever problems you are facing. Your partner is not a mind reader. It is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid confusion. Your partner may sense something’s but it might not be what you need. What you needed and wanted some years ago for instance may be very different now. So, instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, bitterness, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, develop the habit of telling them exactly what you need.

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. Don’t start arguments over things that cannot be changed. Rather than looking to past conflicts or grudges and assigning blame, focus on what you can do to solve the problem. If you can’t agree, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on. Always remember that you are arguing with the person you love.

You will not always be on the same page. Change is inevitable in life and it will happen in your relationship whether you go with it or not. Making a positive change does not need to be a complicated process. It just needs to be a consistent process where you progressively develop new habits of mind through repeated exposure and implementation.

Learn to always adapt to the positive change that is always taking place in your love affair. It will allow you to grow together through both the good times and bad. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow…

bitterness

The danger of bitterness

Bitterness is the feeling of hurt, anger, resentment, and hatred that is build up in our hearts when we have been hurt by others or by an experience in life. Bitterness is a depressant. It can extinguish your joy and enthusiasm for life. It contaminates you with feelings of anger, hatred, jealousy, vindictiveness, animosity, and hostility.

The feelings of bitterness are universal. It is so common and widespread that it affects everyone at some point in their life. No One is excluded or immune from it. There are several reasons why you might find yourself feeling bitter. It could be a relationship breakup, unfaithful spouse, being betrayed by a trusted friend, getting scammed, being neglected, getting abused as a child, loss of a job, not being appreciated for a job well done, experiencing what you feel like unfair treatment, etc. These and many more can cause bitterness to get rooted in your heart.

Bitterness is a cancerous condition that can consume you with fault finding, criticism, negativity, ill-will, and complaining. It can cause emotional and physical fatigue, high blood pressure, loss of appetite, nervous tension, ulcers, and insomnia. People who go through life demanding their way, expecting everything to be in their favor, and for everyone to respect their rights are prone to being bitter.

Holding on to bitterness causes you to stay in a state of anger, helplessness, and resentment that spills over to others. When interpersonal feuds, grudges, controversies, disputes, conflicts, jealousies, competitiveness towards others are not resolved it will lead to increased feelings of bitterness which poison and pollute your whole system. You find yourself thinking about the person who hurt you all the time that you can’t get over it nor get it out of your mind.

When you allow bitterness to remain unchallenged by justifying it, minimizing its seriousness, or by ignoring the unavoidable consequences, the problem will only intensify and reinforce its destructive effects upon your life. You can never grow when you stay at the point of hurt. There are no happy bitter people.  It is okay to be bitter but it is not okay to get stuck for too long with bitterness because when you get stuck, you get lost!!!

pain

Let go of the pain

We all have been hurt by someone at some time or another in our lives. We have been betrayed, treated badly, trust has been broken and hearts have experienced tremendous pain. Most times, we allow the pain to linger for too long that we relive the pain over and over again, having a hard time letting it go.

One basic thing that connects us as humans is our ability to feel pain be it emotional or physical. What differentiates us is how we handle the pain we are going through in life.

What exactly are you holding on to?

Is it a failed relationship? A slight from a friend or family member that you just cannot get over it? Have you been betrayed by a loved one or a trusted friend? Or do you need to forgive someone either in person or just in your heart so that you can let go of anger, hatred, bitterness, and step into a more peaceful state?

What you do with that pain is probably more important than the pain itself. Would you prefer to get back from being an emotionally active individual? Or do you prefer to ponder continuously about the past and something that cannot be changed?

How do I let go of past hurts and move on?

This is a question many of us ask ourselves whenever we experience heartache or emotional trauma/ pain. Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to commit to LET IT GO. If you don’t make this conscious decision, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from past hurt.

You need to realize that you have the choice to let it go. Stop reliving past pain. Stop going over the details of the stories in your head every time you think about it. Stop playing the victim and blaming others.

Being the victim feels good. It is like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The society largely doesn’t care,  so you need to get over yourself because you are special and your feelings matter.

Although,  your feelings matter it shouldn’t override you and make you feel nothing else matters. Your feelings are just one part of this large thing call life which is all interwoven and complex.

Forgive

Learn to practice forgiveness whenever you are hurt. Forgiveness isn’t a sign of weakness; forgiveness isn’t saying “I agree with what you did” rather, it is I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway. Do it for your happiness, well being, and for the time you have left in your life.

There is nothing worse than holding onto resentment about someone or something for years while they happily move on with life. The reality is, doing this only hurts you. The most important thing is that we also have to learn to forgive ourselves. If you can’t forgive yourself, you won’t be able to live in future peace and happiness.

Never allow the person that hurts you in the past, control your happiness. You need to take responsibility for your happiness.  Never you put such power into the hands of someone else. No amount of rumination of analyses has ever fixed any problem. Never! Not in the entirety of the world’s history. So why choose to engage in so much thought and devote so much energy to someone who has wronged you?

Let go of your pain and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where you are the protagonist: you are forever the victim of the other person’s horrible actions. You cannot undo the past all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

Every day you choose to hold on to the pain of yesterday is another day wasted. Enjoy the awesome moment’s life brings across your path

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