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Tag: anger

Our Journey in Life is too short

We are all on a journey on earth. The journey takes us through several phases in life. We fall and rise at each point of our beautiful journey in life. Sometimes we get to meet lovely people who make our transition along the path of life pleasurable.

Several years ago, a beautiful young lady sat on a bus. She was travelling to see her mum in a nearby city. At the next stop, a loud and grumpy old lady came and sat by her. She squeezed into the seat and bumped her with her numerous bags.

The person sitting on the other side of the young lady got upset and asked her why she did not speak up and say something. The young lady responded with a smile: “It is not necessary to be rude or argue over something so insignificant, the journey together is so short. I will be getting off at the next stop”. This response deserves to be written in golden letters: “It is not necessary to argue over something so insignificant, our journey together is so short”

If each one of us realized that our time here on earth is so short; that to darken it with quarrels, futile arguments, not forgiving others, discontentment and a fault-finding attitude would be a waste of time and energy.

Did someone break your heart? Be calm, the journey is so short. Did someone betray, bully, cheat or humiliate you? Be calm and forgive such a one, the journey is so short. Whatever troubles anyone brings us, let us remember that our journey together is so short. No one knows the duration of this beautiful journey. No one knows when their stop will come. Our journey together is so short.

Let us cherish friends and family. Let us be respectful, kind, and forgiving to each other. Let us be filled with gratitude and gladness. Smile,  laugh, dance, play, relax, joke and stop being serious about everything, let go of anger. Failure to do so only hurts you. The other person is moving on with life while you hold grudges.

In Life, we would always come across the good, bad and ugly. In all we do, let us learn to be kind, because everyone we meet is fighting a hard battle. Some may hide theirs with a smile. Others use beautiful makeups to brighten their inner hurt.

Our heart should always be ready to forgive another, for there dwells the secret of true happiness. Leave a lovely footprint in the sand of time. Become a beautiful memory in the heart of those you come across daily. After all, our journey together is so short!

Accept yourself

Accept yourself the way you are

Accept yourself the way you are. It’s easier said than done, but  I love what Brennan Manning said: “When we accept ourselves for what we are, we decrease our hunger for power or the acceptance of others because our self-intimacy reinforces our inner sense of security. We are no longer preoccupied with being powerful or popular. We no longer fear criticism because we accept the reality of our human limitations. Once integrated, we are less often plagued with the desire to please others because simply being true to ourselves brings lasting peace. We are grateful for life and we deeply appreciate and love ourselves.”

The question is: Do you stand up for yourself when others discourage you? Have you given yourself the benefit of doubt in a difficult or confusing time? Is there the tendency to love yourself for who you are and not what others want you to be? Do you only cheer yourself on when you feel positive or accomplish external goals? These questions might sound odd after all, don’t we all accept ourselves as a regular part of living our daily lives?

Self-acceptance according to Merriam Webster dictionary is the act or state of understanding and recognizing one’s abilities and limitations. It is that ability to accept yourself as you are instead of how you wish you were or how you wish others perceived you. It can also mean the feeling of satisfaction with yourself despite your weaknesses and regardless of your past choices and behaviors.

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean that you accept what you are and will do nothing to change and improve. It does not mean accepting your life and fate as it is. Don’t you say to yourself that” this is what I am, I accept myself as I am? I accept my character, failings, mistakes, fate, and this how it is and I can do nothing about it. I cannot improve myself.”

Knowing yourself allows you to see what you can do to improve yourself and your life. Self-acceptance means that you see your mistakes, accept and acknowledge your present position, and then look for better ways to improve. This implies that you understand and accept your character and habits, stop comparing yourself and achievement to others, and acknowledging your skills or lack of them.

Note that acknowledging your good and bad habits and traits of character can alleviate feelings of anger, regret, dissatisfaction, bitterness, unhappiness, or resentment but it is not an excuse for staying as you are. You are you and that is something that is never going to change.

When you learn to accept yourself and work towards the best version of yourself that you can be, you set yourself up for a life that has an abundance of happiness and progress. Spend some time with yourself by engaging in enjoyable activities so that you can bond with yourself and fall in love with that person.

If you don’t love yourself you will never find the courage to dream. You will eventually lose valuable relationships and you will become dull and lifeless.

If what you are doing now is not working for you, then it is time to do things differently, to change the way you look at yourself. Time to stop the judgment and like yourself more.

Are you going through a financial crisis? Love yourself! Are you experiencing heartbreak at the moment? Love yourself!! Do you feel like giving up? Love yourself!!! Has life dealt you heavy blows and you can’t seem to get back up? Love yourself!!!! Are you separated from your spouse? Love yourself!!!  Learn to see your mistakes not as failures but as learning opportunities.

relationship

Every Relationship have their ups and downs

How would you rate your relationship on a scale-out of 10?

Is there any room for improvement?

If your relationship is like most, then yea, there is room for improvement.

Even if you have experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or struggling to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can learn to stay connected, find fulfillment and enjoy lasting happiness. All romantic relationships go through ups and downs. They all require some level of commitment, respect, trust, loyalty, trust,  honesty, patience,  and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner to make it work.

At some point in our lives, we may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in movies,  television, and novels. Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all your needs. Expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on your relationship. If you are expecting to get what you want 100% in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on sacrifice. It takes a lot of work on each person’s part to have a healthy affair.

A great number of relationships often fall apart because of a lack of direct communication. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well but as long as you are communicating you can work through whatever problems you are facing. Your partner is not a mind reader. It is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid confusion. Your partner may sense something’s but it might not be what you need. What you needed and wanted some years ago for instance may be very different now. So, instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, bitterness, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, develop the habit of telling them exactly what you need.

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. Don’t start arguments over things that cannot be changed. Rather than looking to past conflicts or grudges and assigning blame, focus on what you can do to solve the problem. If you can’t agree, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on. Always remember that you are arguing with the person you love.

You will not always be on the same page. Change is inevitable in life and it will happen in your relationship whether you go with it or not. Making a positive change does not need to be a complicated process. It just needs to be a consistent process where you progressively develop new habits of mind through repeated exposure and implementation.

Learn to always adapt to the positive change that is always taking place in your love affair. It will allow you to grow together through both the good times and bad. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow…

pain

Let go of the pain

We all have been hurt by someone at some time or another in our lives. We have been betrayed, treated badly, trust has been broken and hearts have experienced tremendous pain. Most times, we allow the pain to linger for too long that we relive the pain over and over again, having a hard time letting it go.

One basic thing that connects us as humans is our ability to feel pain be it emotional or physical. What differentiates us is how we handle the pain we are going through in life.

What exactly are you holding on to?

Is it a failed relationship? A slight from a friend or family member that you just cannot get over it? Have you been betrayed by a loved one or a trusted friend? Or do you need to forgive someone either in person or just in your heart so that you can let go of anger, hatred, bitterness, and step into a more peaceful state?

What you do with that pain is probably more important than the pain itself. Would you prefer to get back from being an emotionally active individual? Or do you prefer to ponder continuously about the past and something that cannot be changed?

How do I let go of past hurts and move on?

This is a question many of us ask ourselves whenever we experience heartache or emotional trauma/ pain. Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to commit to LET IT GO. If you don’t make this conscious decision, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from past hurt.

You need to realize that you have the choice to let it go. Stop reliving past pain. Stop going over the details of the stories in your head every time you think about it. Stop playing the victim and blaming others.

Being the victim feels good. It is like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The society largely doesn’t care,  so you need to get over yourself because you are special and your feelings matter.

Although,  your feelings matter it shouldn’t override you and make you feel nothing else matters. Your feelings are just one part of this large thing call life which is all interwoven and complex.

Forgive

Learn to practice forgiveness whenever you are hurt. Forgiveness isn’t a sign of weakness; forgiveness isn’t saying “I agree with what you did” rather, it is I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway. Do it for your happiness, well being, and for the time you have left in your life.

There is nothing worse than holding onto resentment about someone or something for years while they happily move on with life. The reality is, doing this only hurts you. The most important thing is that we also have to learn to forgive ourselves. If you can’t forgive yourself, you won’t be able to live in future peace and happiness.

Never allow the person that hurts you in the past, control your happiness. You need to take responsibility for your happiness.  Never you put such power into the hands of someone else. No amount of rumination of analyses has ever fixed any problem. Never! Not in the entirety of the world’s history. So why choose to engage in so much thought and devote so much energy to someone who has wronged you?

Let go of your pain and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where you are the protagonist: you are forever the victim of the other person’s horrible actions. You cannot undo the past all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

Every day you choose to hold on to the pain of yesterday is another day wasted. Enjoy the awesome moment’s life brings across your path

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