The choice of a life partner is the most critical choice of your life. Oftentimes, we conjure pictures in our mind on our would-be life partners would be or look like. Some would go-ahead to make a list of mandatory specifics such as he/she must be handsome, beautiful, tall, short, slim, chubby, fat, must be rich, educated, and presentable e.t.c. It is good to have these kinds of ideas but you need to stop and ask yourself what is truly important to consider before saying I do? There are so many things to consider and be aware of before you embark on the journey of marriage. Some of the basic factors to consider are:
This plays a major role in marriage. If you practice a particular faith, how important is it that your partner share the same faith and practice it with you? How does faith affect your lifestyle? What faith do you want to raise your children in? In choosing a spouse, you are mindful of going for someone of different beliefs from yours. Being nice and morally upright isn’t the criteria to justify this point but being of the same faith with your future spouse will save you from so many dramas and trouble in your home.
One of the main reasons for marriage is companionship and friendship. Don’t marry a stranger and hope you will become compatible overnight. Don’t try to make your spouse your friend but out of your friends choose a partner. When you meet someone on the level of friendship before you get married, it is difficult to fake the relationship. After the romance and sex are gone, it is the friendship that will keep the relationship going.
It is the foundation of a happy, healthy, and long-lasting marriage. It is about truly understanding each other. Once there is a dichotomy in your speaking and understanding level, you can’t enjoy that marriage. Can you truly talk to her and can she truly talk to you? Don’t marry someone who is rigid and not open to new ideas, new ways of doing things, or innovations. Communication is so important because several occasions will arise in a marriage where you and your partner would need to sit, discuss, and figure things out.
What is his / her behavior like? Is there self-control? Is he/she consistently angry or violent? Is he or she abusive: physically, verbally, or emotionally? Does he/ she snap at you, belittle you or always put you down? It is good to marry someone you love, but looks aren’t enough. Life is full of beautiful women and handsome/ rich men but not all that glitters is gold.
Marry someone you have sexual feelings for. Sex plays a vital role in the success of any marriage. If you don’t have emotional feelings for your future spouse, it is a recipe for misunderstanding and broken relationships. You both should understand this fundamental aspect of marriage and adapt as soon as possible. Sex and romance are a non-negotiable part of marriage! You will flirt with each other and you will make babies. So, marry someone you can connect with sexually. it will create more intimacy between you and your partner.
This is the ability of both of you to get along. Having certain strengths/ things that complement each other. Make sure you check basic issues such as:
(a) Values: Do both of you share the same perspective about life?
(b) The purpose of life: Where you are going to determine who will go with you. You must, first of all, discover your purpose for life before choosing a partner for life. Make sure you marry someone that can accommodate your vision and appreciate what you are called to do in life.
Hence, it is important to know how compatible you are with your partner. There must be a certain level of compatibility. If the gulf between you both is too wide, it may create challenges in the future
When choosing a spouse please be very careful of undue influences. Make sure you are choosing someone that has the real qualities that can sustain a home. Let your choices be based on true love and friendship. Marriage is a commitment the both of you must want to go along with willingly. If the man/ woman doesn’t appreciate you enough to marry you please let them go. Someone that will appreciate you will come.
Mamus Cherish is an experienced content creator, inspirational speaker, and relationship coach with a passion for helping individuals to actualize their dreams in life.