Broken hearts and shattered relationships

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The subject of love and relationships is so sensitive, as several things need to be considered. Every relationship must be built on Love. Unfortunately, not everyone understands the concept of Love.  Love has no fixed definition, as it means different things to different people. I would, however, define love as the process whereby two different individuals express mutual feelings towards one another. This feeling may later culminate into marriage.

If you have ever fallen in love before, you will understand that love has to do with emotions and heart. I have seen partners fallen in and out of love. Two hearts that were one suddenly torn apart. How do you explain two friends who were in love suddenly becoming enemies? And the questions I kept on asking myself, was what went wrong? I cannot claim to have all the answers, but I am sharing some of my experience with the hope that they may unravel the mystery of broken hearts and broken relationships.

Unresolved relationships in the past 
When one of the parties still has an unresolved relationship in the past, this can create a lot of tension in the relationship and eventually lead to a breakup. I have seen cases where a partner still visits old boyfriends or girlfriends without the consent of the other partner. Some do it ignorantly while some still harbor a secret love for their ex.

Broken promises 
Promise are sacred and must be honored by partners in a relationship. Unfortunately, this is not often the case, as one or both of the partners can deliberately or unknowingly break a promise that was made in trust and confidence. One common feature under broken promises is the issue of lying to each other. Some individuals are perpetual liars and this can destroy a relationship faster than any other factor. Be true to each other and learn to keep promises made.

Misplaced priority 
I was once in a relationship with someone so dear to my heart. We both loved each other passionately. The relationship was going to the third year when I asked her certain questions about our future. Her response showed that our priorities were not the same. She had different plans while I was thinking of something else. This brought some tears and distraught, but we could not go ahead in the relationship because it was heading nowhere.

Insincerity 
This is the process whereby partners keep secrets from each other and are not 100% honest in their dealings. When any of the partners sense this unusual habit, it can create a serious crack in a relationship, which can eventually lead to its collapse. Any serious relationship must be built on sincerity, trust, and integrity.

Infidelity 
Not everyone can stomach the idea of seeing his/her partner sneaking around with other men or women. Where there is true love, infidelity cannot exist. Apart from the humiliation of seeing one’s partner messing around; it can also expose both partners to sexually transmitted diseases. The ability to be faithful to one partner will help build a solid bond of love that cannot be easily broken.

Immaturity 
One of the criteria for a lasting relationship is the ability of the partners to display maturity and understanding. Unfortunately, some jump into relationships unprepared, and they end up disappointed. Maturity is not all about age, as I have seen men who are more than 35 years old behaving like little kids. Maturity is a function of the mind and its ability to cope with pressure, stress, and difficulties. There is no perfect relationship on earth, and the sooner people realize this, the better for them. When a misunderstanding arises, partners must resolve it amicably without succumbing to external or peer pressure.