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Hope is what keeps you going

On August 27, 2020

Hope is what you cling to when all things seem to be falling apart. When dark clouds surround everywhere around you, hope is the only light the shines through it all. It may seem small and meaningless, but when we keep hoping in the face of daunting challenges, our heart is made stronger.

Some years ago, I lost my Dad and it was one of the darkest moments of my life. It was a huge blow because Dad was like a pillar to me. He was a mentor, a friend, and an ever-present companion whenever I needed someone to talk to.

I had to adjust to the reality of life when things became tough after his demise. The one single thing that kept me going, was the hope that there was surely going to be light at the end of the tunnel. It was something that strengthened me even when everyone I was looking up to had abandoned me.

Things were so bad, that I literarily struggled all through my university program, as I had to sponsor myself. The pain of going through the journey was made worse when Mum died years later. It was painful seeing her go the way she went after years of battling several ailments.

Her death created a huge void in my heart. The void was so deep, that I cried bitterly the day I was informed of her demise. Amid the pain and distress, I refuse to give in to discouragement. In my life experience, I have come to discover that hope is what had held the fragments of my life together.

Hope made me see some ray of lights despite all the darkness that kept flooding my pathway. It kept me going when I should have given up. I held on when others felt I should have let go. It was never a pleasant experience.

Some days were so hard that I found it difficult to rise from my bed. The desire to fight was gradually waning and dwindling with each passing day. Some nights, I cried and remembered the last words of my Dad. They were words of hope and courage: “No matter what it takes, always aspire to the very top in all you do”.

He was lying on his sickbed, but he never stopped encouraging me, even when he knew he had a few months to live. The look on his eyes was that of a loving father who so much desired the best for his son. A father who sacrificed all he had to ensure one lived a better life.

Today, I look back and my heart is overwhelmed with joy. The joy of knowing that hope kept me in the path that few mortals walked. A path that was rough, windy but full of amazing tales that have inspired me to keep pushing and never give up.

Childlessness and the challenge of comforting your spouse

By Clement Sadjere

On August 24, 2020

In Love and relationship

Childlessness can be described as the state of having no children. Many factors can cause childlessness. However, we would not be focusing on the causes, but the way to help comfort one’s spouse who may be struggling due to childlessness.

Life can be so cruel when we least expect it to be. This can best be illustrated in the life of young couples who after getting married and for obvious reasons are unable to give birth to kids of their own. This can be so hard for the woman to bear because by nature they are more emotional than men.

I have seen rare cases where partners had to wait for more than ten years after marriage before they experienced the joy of having babies. And you will agree with me that such situations can be so frustrating. I will be sharing some practical tips on how to comfort partners who are going through this painful experience.

Create a platform for communications

One of the problems partners face is that of communication. This problem is often blown to greater proportion when such partners are facing the issue of childlessness. This sudden silence can be devastating especially to women. Channels of communications must be continuously open to cushion the negative effect associated with this ailment.

Don’t remain indoors

There is always the temptation for partners to remain indoors because of the stigma associated with childlessness. This must be discarded and a better option can be implemented. This involves both partners going out together to somewhere conducive and quiet. It will help ease pain and restore happiness.

Keep on trying and don’t give up

Men often give up on their spouses when they have made several futile attempts to procreate. This can multiply the burden of any woman as she may become withdrawn and feel lonely and unwanted. The period of childlessness should be used to create a closer bond with your spouse. Keep trying to have sexual intimacy with your spouse, as there can be a chance of breaking the cycle of delay with persistent effort.

Think about adopting a child

This is a very ideal option when every gray area has been properly taken care of.
I have had the opportunity of witnessing a situation where a partner adopted a child, and after just two years, they eventually had a child of their own. What they did was to shower love on their adopted son. This shower of love soon created the right atmosphere for the seed of conception to be activated.

Modern technology has made it easier

The most important aspect of dealing with childlessness is the intimacy you keep sharing with your spouse. When you both share beautiful moments, thoughts, anxiety, and worries will not be an issue. So, the possibility of staying in touch with your spouse is always there, thanks to modern technological gadgets.

The danger of bitterness

By Mamus Cherrie

On August 20, 2020

In Self Improvement

Bitterness is the feeling of hurt, anger, resentment, and hatred that is build up in our hearts when we have been hurt by others or by an experience in life. Bitterness is a depressant. It can extinguish your joy and enthusiasm for life. It contaminates you with feelings of anger, hatred, jealousy, vindictiveness, animosity, and hostility.

The feelings of bitterness are universal. It is so common and widespread that it affects everyone at some point in their life. No One is excluded or immune from it. There are several reasons why you might find yourself feeling bitter. It could be a relationship breakup, unfaithful spouse, being betrayed by a trusted friend, getting scammed, being neglected, getting abused as a child, loss of a job, not being appreciated for a job well done, experiencing what you feel like unfair treatment, etc. These and many more can cause bitterness to get rooted in your heart.

Bitterness is a cancerous condition that can consume you with fault finding, criticism, negativity, ill-will, and complaining. It can cause emotional and physical fatigue, high blood pressure, loss of appetite, nervous tension, ulcers, and insomnia. People who go through life demanding their way, expecting everything to be in their favor, and for everyone to respect their rights are prone to being bitter.

Holding on to bitterness causes you to stay in a state of anger, helplessness, and resentment that spills over to others. When interpersonal feuds, grudges, controversies, disputes, conflicts, jealousies, competitiveness towards others are not resolved it will lead to increased feelings of bitterness which poison and pollute your whole system. You find yourself thinking about the person who hurt you all the time that you can’t get over it nor get it out of your mind.

When you allow bitterness to remain unchallenged by justifying it, minimizing its seriousness, or by ignoring the unavoidable consequences, the problem will only intensify and reinforce its destructive effects upon your life. You can never grow when you stay at the point of hurt. There are no happy bitter people. It is okay to be bitter but it is not okay to get stuck for too long with bitterness because when you get stuck, you get lost!!!

Love can be seen in several ways

By Clement Sadjere

On August 17, 2020

In Love and relationship

Love has been defined more than a thousand and one times, depending on the individual who is involved and the prevailing situation. In this article, I would not be attempting to add another definition of love, but rather to share some common features that can help those who are presently in a relationship know if their partner truly loves them.

Love is giving

That is the greatest act of love ever known to mankind. If someone says he/she loves you and never bothers to give something tangible as a seal of that love, be careful!

When we give of our time, resources, self, and gifts to the one we love, it goes a long way to cement such a relationship. Giving should not be restricted to only special occasions like birthdays, St. Valentine Day, Christmas, Easter, or New Year. It should be a way of life. A little flower or a carefully chosen card can be worth more than gold and silver in the life of a loved one.

Sacrificial

When someone is ready to sacrifice all he/she has, it is a true sign of affection. Some individuals are not ready to sacrifice one bit of themselves and they claim to have affection for their partners. What sacrifice means, is that you are willing to do anything to please someone. The opposite of sacrifice is selfishness, which can destroy any relationship.

Patience

No human being on earth is 100% perfect. That is the main reason why we must be patient with the one we love. In relationships and marriage, there is a need for patience. It is a virtue that can cover so many inadequacies in the life of the one you love.

Does not count wrong

When two individuals are in a relationship, there is bound to be a dispute. These things are not planned but can happen spontaneously due to one reason or the order. At such a moment, the test of true affection can be manifested by both parties, as there is a need to forgive and forget whatever wrong has been done.

Some individuals, however, fail to heed this clear advice and go about writing down every wrong their partners have done while waiting patiently for the perfect opportunity to expose all these faults. This is a sign that there is love lost between both parties.

Love is sharing

If an individual is stingy with whatever he or she has, that is not a sign of love. No matter how small it is, learn how to share it! It is common in some parts of the world to see people sharing food because it is generally regarded as a symbol of love. If your partner needs something which you have, one of the attributes or sign to show he/she loves is to share with you.

Your passion will create unlimited income streams for you

By Clement Sadjere

On August 15, 2020

In Business, Self Improvement

Passion is the fuel that drives your dream in life. What keeps you going when others have given up is the passion you have for that idea or business. If you want to achieve financial success in life, do what you love to do.

This is one of the great secrets of financial success. This is also one of your primary responsibilities in life. It is to find out what you really enjoy doing, what you have a natural flair for, and then to throw your whole heart into doing it. There is a difference between doing something because you are paid to do it and doing something you have passion for.

A guy once shared the story about how his mum convinced him to become a doctor. He gained admission into the university and struggled all through. Medicine became a daunting challenge for him, as he had to change courses in between and eventually left the university without a degree.

Not too long after, he realized that he never had a passion for medicine. It was an idea that was suggested to him. Today, he is a millionaire living his dreams, making people happy. He later discovered his flair for comedy and studied successful comedians, before venturing out to set up his outfit. It’s all about doing what you have passion for and eventually, the money will come.

There is a difference between getting involved in something because of the financial benefits attached, and having a passion for something. The difference is that when you are involved in something purely for the money, it’s easy for you to become discouraged when the stream of income dries off.

On the other hand, when passion is the prime mover, you keep striving even if you not getting any financial benefits from what you doing. Time is a beautiful rewarder for those who are diligent. After a while, that thing you are passionate about and you’ve become an authority in, people will pay you for it.

Patience is the key. When you patiently pursue what you are passionate about, the financial benefits will eventually follow with time. It may take a year or two, but be patient, and never get discouraged.

I am passionate about writing. I can be on my laptop for hours unending writing on different stuff that just comes to my memory. It is a passion. It is something that gives me joy. Years back, I was not getting a dime for writing. Fortunately, after a while, people got to see samples of my work online and they contacted me via email and mobile to help them with different writing projects.

I started making some extra income from writing. It was absolute fun doing what you love and getting paid for it. It’s like you enjoy yourself and you get additional incentives for just enjoying yourself. Passion is the key. Discover your passion, and other things will eventually fall in place.