It’s not easy to forgive when you’re betrayed or mistreated. Forgiveness is quite difficult when you’re hurt by a trusted ally or friend. It’s often said to forgive and forget, but this isn’t as easy as it seems. However, forgiveness is a beautiful gift you can give to yourself and the offender. It makes you happier and boosts your overall health. Below are tips to help you forgive yourself and others.
It’s okay to be emotional
You’re human. It’s okay to get angry, disappointed, and feel hurt. However, don’t wallow in these for too long as it has a debilitating effect on you. Own your feelings and let forgiveness take its due course.
Stop thinking of the past
Don’t dwell on the past. It’s about time you move on. Thinking of the wrongs and hurt will make you bitter and resentful. This isn’t good for your health as it predisposes you to cardiovascular diseases. Instead of focusing on the past, think about good memories. Soon enough, you’ll forget about the pain.
Acknowledge that no one is perfect. Remember a time you wronged someone, and you were forgiven. If possible, extend the same gesture to people who hurt you. In addition, you can be empathetic towards them. Some of them are products of dysfunctional homes, childhood trauma, and abuse. So, it’s not entirely their fault. Their experience shaped them. Showing empathy to people makes forgiveness easy.
Has someone hurt you? You might want to set boundaries. Setting boundaries is a form of self-care. While you’re aggrieved, you should keep a distance from the offender to prevent the situation from escalating. Furthermore, setting boundaries helps you heal quickly.
Take a positive action
Consider engaging in activities that take your mind off the situation. You can write, listen to music, go for a walk, try a new hobby, or vent to a close friend or ally. This helps you redirect the pain into something meaningful.
Decide to forgive
Forgiveness takes place when you decide to let go of the wrongs done to you. While this doesn’t seem easy, once you intend to forgive, it will happen in due time. Understand that to forgive isn’t a sign of weakness or you are condoning the offender’s behavior. It shows how strong you are and how you’re not willing to let anything get in the way of your happiness.
Give room for growth
Instead of staying bitter and angry, think about the lessons drawn from the situation. This will make you a better person. See the situation as an avenue to improve yourself. Don’t forget, the one who forgives is the stronger person.
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