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Let go of the pain

We all have been hurt by someone at some time or another in our lives. We have been betrayed, treated badly, trust has been broken and hearts have experienced tremendous pain. Most times, we allow the pain to linger for too long that we relive the pain over and over again, having a hard time letting it go.

One basic thing that connects us as humans is our ability to feel pain be it emotional or physical. What differentiates us is how we handle the pain we are going through in life.

What exactly are you holding on to?

Is it a failed relationship? A slight from a friend or family member that you just cannot get over it? Have you been betrayed by a loved one or a trusted friend? Or do you need to forgive someone either in person or just in your heart so that you can let go of anger, hatred, bitterness, and step into a more peaceful state?

What you do with that pain is probably more important than the pain itself. Would you prefer to get back from being an emotionally active individual? Or do you prefer to ponder continuously about the past and something that cannot be changed?

How do I let go of past hurts and move on?

This is a question many of us ask ourselves whenever we experience heartache or emotional trauma/ pain. Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to commit to LET IT GO. If you don’t make this conscious decision, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from past hurt.

You need to realize that you have the choice to let it go. Stop reliving past pain. Stop going over the details of the stories in your head every time you think about it. Stop playing the victim and blaming others.

Being the victim feels good. It is like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The society largely doesn’t care,  so you need to get over yourself because you are special and your feelings matter.

Although,  your feelings matter it shouldn’t override you and make you feel nothing else matters. Your feelings are just one part of this large thing call life which is all interwoven and complex.


Learn to practice forgiveness whenever you are hurt. Forgiveness isn’t a sign of weakness; forgiveness isn’t saying “I agree with what you did” rather, it is I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway. Do it for your happiness, well being, and for the time you have left in your life.

There is nothing worse than holding onto resentment about someone or something for years while they happily move on with life. The reality is, doing this only hurts you. The most important thing is that we also have to learn to forgive ourselves. If you can’t forgive yourself, you won’t be able to live in future peace and happiness.

Never allow the person that hurts you in the past, control your happiness. You need to take responsibility for your happiness.  Never you put such power into the hands of someone else. No amount of rumination of analyses has ever fixed any problem. Never! Not in the entirety of the world’s history. So why choose to engage in so much thought and devote so much energy to someone who has wronged you?

Let go of your pain and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where you are the protagonist: you are forever the victim of the other person’s horrible actions. You cannot undo the past all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

Every day you choose to hold on to the pain of yesterday is another day wasted. Enjoy the awesome moment’s life brings across your path


Your success in life depends on what you see

Success in life is a function of what we are capable of seeing. What you see has a lot of roles to play in your decision-making process. It is all about the mindset. Some always see opportunities even when others are seeing things differently.

It is the way their mind is wired. On the other hand, some individuals are always seeing challenges. They never see anything good in what others are doing. In their mind, they are always thinking about the failure rates rather than the success rates of any idea.

Someone once gave an illustration of how inventors reason. While someone was building the airplane, an inventor with a mind that was always thinking of failure was busy designing a parachute. The concept of the parachute came from the mindset of failure. The possibility of the airplane engine failure in midair.

Some individuals will even go to the extent of rejecting opportunities because the opportunities are clothed in the form of challenges. What we must realize is that amid challenges, lies amazing opportunities. It all depends on what you see.

Someone once shared the funny story of how he missed the opportunity to lift himself out of poverty when he rejected an opportunity to create an unending income stream because all he was thinking about was how to get a job.

Two friends once visited India and they both saw little kids walking on barefoot. One of them saw extreme poverty while the other saw an opportunity. Two years later, the one who saw an opportunity came back to India and established one of the biggest footwear companies. 

The difference between both friends was simple. One had a success mentality, while the other one who was seeing poverty, had a failure mentality. What you see determines how far you can excel in life. See beyond the challenges or barriers. There are opportunities all around us begging to be exploited. 

Success can only be seen with the eyes that have been programmed for success. It is not a physical thing. It is deeper than the physical. That is why some individuals may be looking at plastic waste and be wondering why people keep polluting the environment with plastic.

Another fellow will see the plastic with an eye of success and will be thinking of how to convert plastic waste to wealth. It is all about having insight. Not everyone who has an eye can see.

Some are financially blind to opportunity and can never see the opportunity to make wealth even if these opportunities are placed right in front of their eyes. It has to do with hindsight, not just having sights!


It is not over until you win

Life is like a football match. We win some, we lose some. The beautiful thing about football is that it gives players an amazing opportunity to correct their mistakes. It is a 90 minutes game, where there is provision for extra time.

I have seen teams that started so badly but ended up winning even in extra time. It is a game where a few seconds can determine the outcome of a game. It is rare to see football players giving up on a game. They keep chasing and fighting until the referee blows the final whistle.

I watched a local football match at a school playing ground. As I sat down, I asked one of the boys what the score was. With a smile, he replied; “They are leading us 3-0”

And to be honest, he never looked like someone who was discouraged with the score. I asked him why he didn’t sound discouraged?  “Discouraged?” the boy asked with a puzzled look.

Why should I be discouraged when the referee has not blown the final whistle. I have confidence in the team and our manager; we shall win this game. it was one of the most inspiring words I heard from such a young boy. He should be around 14 or 15 years.

Truly, the match ended 5-4 in favor of the boy’s team. He waved at me gently, with a beautiful smile as he left; I was amazed, mouth wide open; Such confidence; Such awesome positivity. It was a turning point in my view about life.

As I got back home that night, his question kept coming back to me – “Why should I be discouraged when the referee has not blown the final whistle”

Life is like a football game. Why be discouraged, when there is still life. Why should I be discouraged when the final whistle has not sounded?

The truth is that many people blow the final whistle themselves. The desire to win isn’t there. They are defeated, even before the referee blows the whistle for the game to commence.

But as long as there is life, nothing is impossible and it is never too late for you.

Half time is not full time. There are still 45 minutes left, and games have been won in 10 seconds, left of extra time. On the 13th of May 2012, Manchester City made history when they won the Premier League title for the first time in their history.

It was a game where everyone expected them to win against Queens Park Rangers. Pablo Zabaleta gave City an early lead in the first half, and everyone was already in celebration mood at the Etihad. Unfortunately, Djibril Cisse of QPR capitalized on an error by defender Joleon Lescot to equalize for QPR.

Things turned from bad to worse when Jamie Mackie headed QPR into a 2-1 lead with time running out. With the game going into extra time, Manchester United had already defeated Sunderland at the Stadium of Light and was poised to be crowned champions.

It was a nervous time for fans who were watching in shock as the title was slipping away from the grasp of Manchester City. Five minutes of extra time and City had a corner kick quickly taken by David Silva. Edin Dzeko rose highest to head in the equalizer.

Two minutes before the extra time was up, Mario Balotelli stumbled in the QPR penalty area, but still managed to make a pass to Sergio Aguero. The City talisman did the incredible and scored the winner.

It was a lesson I had come to learn. Life gives us opportunities even when all hope seems lost. As individuals,  we must never give up until we win. Don’t blow the final whistle yourself.

Getting the right information is crucial to your success in life

Getting the right information is crucial to your success in life

Information can be described as the process of been informed. When an individual has full knowledge about something, that individual can be described as been informed. Every product we purchase usually comes with an operational manual. The manual contains all the information the user needs to operate the product safely and efficiently.

The level of information we acquire in life can sometimes determine the level of success we can attain. There is a popular saying- “Information is Power”. That is true to an extent because when we have access to certain information, it gives us leverage and comparative advantage over others.

Knowing is not enough

Having access to quality information is not enough. What you do with the volume of information at your disposal is crucial to your success in life. Having a University degree for example in Electronics engineering, means you have some level of information as regards electronics. What you do with this vital information will determine if you become successful in life or not.

Patiently wait to get all the necessary information you need to succeed in life

I once read a funny story about a cleaner who was assigned to clean an airplane. He was busy cleaning the pilot’s cockpit when he saw a book titled,  “How to Fly an Aeroplane for Beginners. Volume 1. Curiosity took a hold of him, and he opened the first page which said: “To start the engine, press the red button..”He did exactly what was written there, and the airplane engine started. He was happy and opened the next page.

On the next page was written: “To get the airplane moving, press the blue button..”He did so and the plane started moving at an amazing speed. He was already excited about what he had been able to achieve and he was desperately wanted to fly, so he opened the 3rd page which said: “To make the airplane fly, please press the green button..” He did so and the plane started to fly. He was super excited. It was like a dream come true.

After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land so he decided to go to the 4th page, and on page 4 was boldly written; “To learn how to land a flying plane, please purchase Volume 2 of this introductory book on flying an airplane at the nearest book
shop! ” The Cleaner will be buried tomorrow.

Moral Lesson:

Don’t ever attempt anything without complete information.

Most individuals in life, make the exact mistake this cleaner made. They learn about a certain business for example, and without having all the necessary information, they go-ahead to start the business. The result is they end up getting disappointed as the business packs up after a while.


A smile looks good on you

When we smile, it is a symbol of hope. A symbol of strength and the willingness to let go of whatever may be going wrong. Everything may not be perfect, but a smile keeps the heart strong even amid the storm.

Some days ago, I was walking to work when suddenly came across a beautiful lady. She looked at me and smiled. It was something I never expected. What made it even more amazing was the words she spoke: “Good Morning”. It was an unbelievable gesture and It surely made my day.

So often in life, we get carried away with the pressure from our relationships, jobs, family, and friends. Our countenance becomes affected. The facial expression shows how we feel inside. We unconsciously allow bad energy to flow within our soul.

The negative impact can be devastating. Low self-esteem, anxiety, unhappiness, emotional trauma, and low productivity becomes our occasional companion. The fact that it is easier to smile than to frown makes it even more interesting.

Several times in life, I have encountered so much pain and setback, that has made me feel down and almost out. These things do occur once in a while, but I still find time to smile in the midst of it all.

Looking back at history, we can derive a lot of inspiration from those who have walked the path of extreme suffering and tragedy. They have seen the bitter and the sweet side of life. The joy of their existence literarily went up in flame, but they still stood tall and bounced back stronger.

It is sometimes difficult to see beyond the sorrow. However, if we look back at the pains of yesterday and where we are today, there is a bit of comfort that surrounds us. The tears are replaced by smiles.

Joseph Scriven was just a young woodcutter. The son of a captain in the British royal marines. Born in 1819, he fell in love with a beautiful lady Eliza Rice. They had beautiful memories together and had planned to get married.

A day before their marriage, Eliza died and it was such a painful experience for the young Joseph Scriven. He was almost drowning in sorrow but held firmly to his faith. From within his pains, he got inspired to compose one of the best contemporary hymns and named it: “What a Friend we have in Jesus

In life, we go through the bad, the good and ugly experiences. These things make us better persons and bring out the best in us. Joseph Scriven is long gone, but the beautiful song he left behind still brings a smile to the face of those going through unimaginable pains.

We all have difficult moments. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. Though the dark clouds may cover our beautiful sunshine. We can always create our sunshine by our smile.

After every storm, the sun will smile; for every problem, there is a solution, and the soul’s indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer”… William Rounseville Alger

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